Biccie Business

This story from the BBC confirms what I have always thought about biscuits in the workplace.

Biscuits 'key' to clinching business deals

About four out of five UK businesses believe the type of biscuit they serve to potential clients could clinch the deal or make it crumble, a survey says.

The outcome of a meeting could be influenced by the range and quality of biscuits, according to 1,000 business professionals quizzed by Holiday Inn.

The chocolate digestive was deemed to make the best impression followed by shortbread and Hob Nobs.

Lawyers were most impressed by good boardroom biccies, the survey added.

Dunking Do-Nots

Jammie Dodgers and Bourbons were also among the biscuit types thought to help sweet-talk customers.

However crumbly biscuits are a big no-no in the meeting environment, the questionnaire found, with 30% frowning on a regular digestive in the work environment.

And when it comes to helping yourself to biscuits from a communal plate, the most acceptable number to take is two, the research concluded.

However more than half of respondents looked down on dunking biscuits in tea or coffee during a meeting.

A survey released last year, which quizzed 7,000 people, suggested that the custard cream is the nation's favourite biscuit.

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What's your favourite workplace snack?

Not Waving...

...Drowning

Sorry for lack of posts recently - new job syndrome.

Normal service will resume soon, I promise.

Last Day Today, Hooray!

Finally.

The end of my ever so exciting notice period.

I am working through my "gettingthefuckouttahere" checklist and have ticked off most of the entries...

A couple of hours from now and this place won't see me for dust!!

I have the contact details for the people I want to stay in touch with so its just a case of handing back the phone, the laptop, the blackberry, the securid card, the id card, the parkit permit, etc etc etc. Maybe in return I can get my soul back!

Strange Malaise

I've really been struggling to 'get going' this past couple of weeks and need to give myself a good shake before starting my new job.

I was on three months notice with my current employer which I negotiated down to two. These have been the longest two months of my life!

I mistakenly thought that having been here for around ten years, and being on a such a long notice period, that the company would be keen to ensure that I handed over everything I was working on and did a brain dump of all the handy stuff that I have picked up over the years. Sadly no. No contact, no deliverables, no real interest from above.

I am therefore feeling slightly miffed and more than a little bit bored...

Still, this is the final week, I have had my 'exit interview' (big joke), so I am just going to concentrate on cleaning up my workspace, making sure I have transferred all my personal files off my work laptop, etc etc etc

I then have a week off to chill and get my head together (whilst I am trying to clear some of the debris from my overstuffed garage) before taking up my new post with a clear head and an annoyingly positive attitude!

That's the plan anyways...

The Pecking Order

Only a week and half left at my current employer so I am currently in "knowledge transfer" mode - tell a bunch of people a bunch of stuff that you know that they are not going to remember and then walk off into the sunset.

My decision to leave for pastures new was completely vindicated today when I was witness to the following telephone exchange between my line manager and his boss :

(5 minutes into conference call)

MLM : Yes, and we really need to agree how to move forward on this key issue. What do you think about...
HB : Sorry, we are going to have to talk about this some other time. I have to feed the goat.

"Feed the goat" isn't a euphemism by the way, he really was going to feed his goat.

If MLM is further down the pecking order than a pet goat, where the fuck does that leave me?

Movin' On

After just over 8 years working for A Major Engineering Company I have decided to move to pastures new. This morning I submitted my letter of resignation and now I just need to see how much of my 3 month notice period they want me to work.

Latterly at my current employer the IT function has been completely reorganised on four occasions over the past four or five years. The latest reorganisation, to provide a global service, is being managed from overseas. Four email pronouncements in seven months is not a great way to manage change on this scale, especially when the latest announcement (in a bizarre attempt to raise morale) stated that people should not worry as we had now achieved 60% of the targetted job cuts (do the maths). As my department didn't feature on the newly issued organisation charts I decided it was probably time to start seeing what alternatives were available.

I found a position that seemed interesting, applied, interviewed, and accepted.

So it comes to pass that, after a greater number of years than I care to think about working in the Oil & Gas industry, I find myself relishing a new challenge in the world of academia. I will soon be starting a job within the IT Directorate of the local University, a venerable establishment that has been in existence for over 500 years. I am sure that there will be lots of challenges ahead but all contact to date has been extremely positive and I have a feeling that it is going to be a good place to work.

Honesty Policy

Found this great post over at execupundit.com.

I don't believe for one minute that the "Note from boss to employees" is based on a real life example but, having worked both sides, I find the open, honest approach refreshing.

The "Note from employees to boss" as suggested by Jim in the comments section is also worthy.

Wouldn't worklife be easy if we could employ a few of these principles; have clear goals, common targets, straightforward communication, and mutual respect and support.

The idealist in me things this would be great, the cynic doesn't think there is a hope in hell that it would happen.

Link : Execupundit.com: Note From Boss To Employees