Lyric Snippets 8

Lyric quiz time again folks...

The lyric snippets below are from the last five songs played on my iPod this morning. Can you identify the songs?

1. Now I wish I could write you a melody so plain, That could hold you dear lady from going insane, That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain, Of your useless and pointless knowledge
2. And out on the subway, Rael Imperial Aerosol Kid, Exits into daylight, spraygun hid
3. Painted words are whispered, Its no prayer, Whispering words, Are drifting like the snow
4. It may seem strange but he'd admit, Intentions aren't exactly true, And though God loves his wife a bit, He hates the farmer through and through
5. I dont know but I been told, A big legged woman aint got no soul

Answers in the comments please, and no Googling!

The full list of answers will be posted later.

The answers to Lyric Snippets 7 are now in the comments for that post.

We Have A Semi On

The youth team I coach has been playing in a cup competition over the past few weeks.

The league section they are in has teams from both Primary 4 and Primary 5. My lads are all P4 and have been struggling a bit against the bigger lads in the P5 teams, however, this week they played another P4 team and finally got a chance to play the way I know they can.

A 7-3 victory assured them of a place in the semi-final of the competition to win the Salver which is a trophy that the lesser teams play for - kind of in the way that Rangers will drop into the UEFA Cup when they fail to win in the next round of the Champions League.

The semi final is in a couple of weeks time with a place in the final, to be held at Peterhead's Balmoor Stadium, at stake.

Here's hoping for a good performance as I'm sure that the boys would really love to be in that final.

A Load Of Bollox

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Here is a true story (my arse!) :

Lena was hired at the factory and she reported for her 1st day promptly at 8:00 a.m.

The following day, at 8:45, there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line threw open the door and began to rant about his new employee, Lena. He complained that she was incredibly slow and that the entire production line was behind schedule and backing up!

The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they got there, the line was so backed up, there were Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they were really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stood Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.

She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began carefully to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The personnel manager stared for a few seconds, saw what was happening, and burst into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulled himself together and approached Lena.

"I'm sorry," he said to her. Barely able to keep a straight face, he said, "I think you misunderstood the instructions given you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles ..."

Simpsonly Awesome

As someone who can't even play one guitar I was amazed at how good this guy was at playing two at once...

Kids Kits

Bought the wee fella a new footie top today.

Aberdeen have just launched their new third strip. The wee fella likes it because it is an Aberdeen strip but in Dumbarton colours, thus enabling him to feel like he is supporting both teams at once!

Ridiculous the price they are charging for these things though...

Great Spam Email Subject Line

I just love the strange subject lines on the spam emails I get every so often.

Todays was "impromptu vacuum cleaner"

Camping Carry On

The TK family are off to road test our new tent over the next couple of days. We are hoping and praying that the recent positive change in the weather carries on for a bit longer.

We have decided not to stray too far from home on this maiden voyage in case of foul weather, disasters, injuries, plagues of frogs, murderous nightprowlers etc etc. Ever the eternal optimists, we always like to look on the bright side...

Getting to our destination may prove to be the toughest challenge. To some a camping trip would involve a small tent, sleeping bags, a couple of tins of baked beans, two dozen cans of lager, and some loo roll - not the family TK! We have a tent that could function as a temporary refugee holding centre, a mountain of bits and bobs for the internals, and enough changes of wardrobe to keep Posh Spice happy for a month. Fitting all of this gubbins into the TK mobile was like a horrendous automobile based version of Tetris but I finally managed it, only to have to go back and rearrange everything when I remembered we had to fit 2.5 people in the vehicle as well!

I am sure we will have lots of fun, once I have managed to erect the marquee, and it will be a nice break.

May try and email in some blog entries if the mood takes me, if it doesn't (ab)normal service will be resumed in a couple of days.


Hi Hoooooooooooo........