5 September 2008

Scary Kilty Guy

Whilst I'm back here in the blogowotsit I will take the chance to ask you good people of the 'Deen a question that has been bothering me.

Who is the Scary Kilty Guy?

You know, the guy that you always see about town wearing a strange sort of leather and kilt combination.

Big guy with one of those combo haircuts : shaved at the front with a long black ponytail.

He strides about the place as though he is either on his way to somewhere or on his way back...

Who is he?

What does he do?

What is with the strange garb?


Can anyone enlighten me?  Post any info you have in the comments please.

p.s. I mean the big scary kilty guy, not the weedy but also very scary kilty guy described here.

Where Was I When?

My buddy Big Rab of the excellent Ben Lomond Free Press has decided to wake me from my blog slumbers by tagging me with one of those ridiculous memes.  This one requires me to recall where I was and what I was doing on certain key historical dates.  This is rather funny as my memory has never been great and recently has developed more holes in it than than one of those holey things, I forget the name.  These days I can only tell if I have been to the toilet recently by the relative dampness of my trousers...

Anyway, here goes nothing...

Princess Diana’s death - 31 August 1997

Ah, I do remember this! Do I get a point?

Me and Mrs TK had travelled long and far to get to our holiday retreat, a waterside apartment in Falmouth, Cornwall.

The previous occupants had obviously been using the beside alarm clock radio to waken them bright and early in the morning - on holiday?  Numbskulls!

Anyway, the bloody thing went off and I couldn't find the off button without wakening myself up properly so I decided just to let the radio news guy witter on.

So I'm lying in a strange bed, in a strange room, in a strange flat, in that "not quite knowing where you are and is this a dream by the way?" state, listening to this bizarre news item about a car crash in a tunnel in Paris etc etc

One of the wierdest mornings I have ever experienced.

Coincidentally we drove back up the length of the country on the day of the funeral.  Great trip, hardly any traffic on the road, made it back home in half the time!

Margaret Thatcher’s resignation 22 November 1990

Can't recall and don't really care.

Has the old bitch died yet?

Is it time to help Elvis tramp the dirt down?

Attack on the twin towers - 11 September 2001

I was at work and it was one of those occassions where all sorts of mixed messages where coming in, people phoning their loved ones at home to get the latest from the radio or television, all sorts of rumours flying around - kind of like the day Mo Johnstone signed for Rangers.

Finally someone managed to get hold of a telly that was used for showing presentations and set it up in one of the meeting rooms.  I cannot adequately describe the power of the images on that screen that day.  A bunch of us stood transfixed watching the planes flying into the towers over and over again, the repeating of the action never once diminishing the shock that everyone felt.

Something changed in the world that day and there's no going back.

I had been lucky enough to visit the Twin Towers on a visit to New York a couple of years before and the thought that the attack could just of easily happened then still sends a chill down my spine. 

England’s World Cup Semi Final v (West) Germany - 4 July 1990

Watched this at home, much as I watch any football that is available - on the box or in real life! Another glorious failure.  I think that most people in Scotland don't actually mind the majority of the players, its the arrogant, annoying, small minded, ignorant, feckwits that present and commentate on the matches for the EBC that get on everyone's thruppennies!

President Kennedy’s Assassination - 22 November 1963

I was three.  I lived in Nottingham.  I had a red tricycle.  I vaguely recall a "girlfriend" that lived round the corner.  I was once knocked unconscious when my Dad accidentally pulled me into a lamppost.  I almost sliced off the top of my thumb trying to peel an apple.  

I have absolutely no recollection of President Kennedy's assassination.

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I have no intention of tagging anyone for this meme, if you read this and feel like taking part please do, and don't forget to point back down the chain like a good citizen...

Toodle pip.

Under The Alfluence Of Incohol

Things that are DIFFICULT to say when drunk:

  1. Innovative
  2. Preliminary
  3. Proliferation
  4. Cinnamon

Things that are
VERY DIFFICULT to say when drunk:

  1. Specificity
  2. Anti-constitutionalistically
  3. Passive-aggressive disorder
  4. Tran substantiate

Things that are 
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when drunk:

  1. No thanks, I'm married.
  2. Nope, no more booze for me!
  3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
  4. Kebab ?  No thanks, I'm not hungry.
  5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
  6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
  7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
  8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
  9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in t his parking lot or on the side of the road.
  10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.


Posted in homage to funny posts from the divine Misssy M and my buddy Big Rab.


3 June 2008

Biccie Business

This story from the BBC confirms what I have always thought about biscuits in the workplace.

Biscuits 'key' to clinching business deals

About four out of five UK businesses believe the type of biscuit they serve to potential clients could clinch the deal or make it crumble, a survey says.

The outcome of a meeting could be influenced by the range and quality of biscuits, according to 1,000 business professionals quizzed by Holiday Inn.

The chocolate digestive was deemed to make the best impression followed by shortbread and Hob Nobs.

Lawyers were most impressed by good boardroom biccies, the survey added.

Dunking Do-Nots

Jammie Dodgers and Bourbons were also among the biscuit types thought to help sweet-talk customers.

However crumbly biscuits are a big no-no in the meeting environment, the questionnaire found, with 30% frowning on a regular digestive in the work environment.

And when it comes to helping yourself to biscuits from a communal plate, the most acceptable number to take is two, the research concluded.

However more than half of respondents looked down on dunking biscuits in tea or coffee during a meeting.

A survey released last year, which quizzed 7,000 people, suggested that the custard cream is the nation's favourite biscuit.

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What's your favourite workplace snack?


2 June 2008

Vid 2.0 ?

It's been all over the net by now probably but I just love this new video from Weezer.

Spot all the YouTube "stars" making guest appearances.

21 April 2008

Ne'er cast a cloot...

I know that we have blue skies and sunshine here in the Granite City today, and it all looks very pleasant through a window, but...

You sir!

Yes, you with the flower patterned bermuda shorts and the green flip flops!

You are a mentalist!!

7 March 2008

Tales Out Of School

Mrs TK works in the local primary school and has a lot of laughs with the kids there and some of the things they say.

The other day she was on duty in the playground when one of the younger girls came up to her, full of excitement.

"Mrs TK, Mrs TK. Come and see my grandfather!"

Thinking that she was going to see some elderly gentleman leaning over the school gate smiling indulgently at his favourite granddaughter Mrs TK followed the little girl round the corner of the school.

Coming to a muddy patch of ground the little girl started jumping for joy, pointing excitedly at the ground and exclaiming "Look, look. It's my grandfather, he's come to see me!". Looking down Mrs TK discovered that the source of this unbridled joy was a large wriggly earthworm.

The little girl went on to explain, "It's my grandfather Mrs TK. He died and my mummy said that when people die they sometimes come back as animals and things and this is my grandfather and he's come back to see me and I am so happy to see him it's my grandfather it's my grandfather , it is, it is!"

Mrs TK said she was very pleased to meet the little girls grandfather, made her excuses, and left the little girl playing happily and introducing her friends to the wriggly creature.

Sadly, some time later, the little girl appeared at Mrs TK's side. Gone was the exhuberant, happy face, now the child was in floods of tears...

"Oh Mrs TK, it's terrible. Someone has thrown my grandfather into the stream..."

Oh the cruelty of children! Cue two minute pep talk about how worms can swim and how her grandfather would now be happy and having fun swimming around in the big river...

Just lucky that nobody stamped on him or cut him in half, that would have been far more difficult to explain!