The Green Green Grass Of Home

The story of the pensioner getting bollocked by his local council for cutting the grass verge outside his house would be laughable if it wasn't so typical of the attitude of councils in the UK.  

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My football club complained recently about the cutting of the grass on the football pitches we use at the weekends.  Basically the grass had not been cut for about a five week period and had grown extremely long.  The council then cut the grass the day before the games were due to take place and just left the overlong cuttings all over the place.  The coaches and parents had to spend over an hour before the game clearing the playing surface to make it safe.

The mindless excuses responses we got from the council were priceless and included this absolute gem!!!

As I thought, Landscape services have confirmed that they are unable to collect grass. 600,000m2 of grass is cut by xxxxx depot staff every 10 working days so there is too much to be disposed of but since most of grass is water it soon naturally dries up. 

Unfortunately on this occasion the grass at xxxx Park happened to be due a cut just before the weekend so didn't have much time to dry out.

I have also, for the first time, been made aware that the staff from the xxxxx depot who do the grass cutting are the same personnel who bury the dead and there has been an increase of those instances over the summer.

Unfortunately, for park users, burials need to take priority over grass cutting.

You couldn't make this stuff up...