Under The Alfluence Of Incohol

Things that are DIFFICULT to say when drunk:

1. Innovative
   
2. Preliminary
   
3. Proliferation
   
4. Cinnamon
   

Things that are VERY DIFFICULT to say when drunk:

1. Specificity
   
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
   
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
   
4. Tran substantiate
   

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when drunk:

1. No thanks, I'm married.
   
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
   
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
   
4. Kebab ?  No thanks, I'm not hungry.
   
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
   
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
   
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
   
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
   
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in t his parking lot or on the side of the road.
   
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
    

Posted in homage to funny posts from the divine Misssy M and my buddy Big Rab.

Best Carry Out Ever?

Scene : Pittodrie Stadium, concourse under Richard Donald stand, jammed with about 700 odd Dons fans camping out overnight to get tickets in the morning.

Folk were being allowed out to have a fag, go for chips, get refreshments etc.

Cue loads of folk coming back loaded down with alcoholic beverages.

Best one of the night was a young lad who returned with the best carry out I have ever seen - two cases of lager and a pillow!

Have you seen better than this? Why don't you thrill us with your takeaway alcohol themed tails...