Electrical Language

Interesting article in the New York Times about emoticons, their history, and how they have migrated from IM and bulletin board posts into corporate communications... :-(

Link : New York Times article

Garrincha

About to start reading Ruy Castro's book on "The triumph and tragedy of Brazil's forgotten footballing hero".

My eye was caught by the following review by Harry Pearson of When Saturday Comes :

"It's hard to imagine the biography of any English footballer featuring cannibalism, masturbation contests and the subject losing his virginity with a goat inside the first twenty pages, but that's what you get in Ruy Castro's powerfully atmospheric and beautifully rendered life of one of Brazil's greatest ever players. As the opening salvo makes plain, this is a truly extraordinary story... A sad and fantastic book"

Sounds like its not going to be boring then...

Movin' On

After just over 8 years working for A Major Engineering Company I have decided to move to pastures new. This morning I submitted my letter of resignation and now I just need to see how much of my 3 month notice period they want me to work.

Latterly at my current employer the IT function has been completely reorganised on four occasions over the past four or five years. The latest reorganisation, to provide a global service, is being managed from overseas. Four email pronouncements in seven months is not a great way to manage change on this scale, especially when the latest announcement (in a bizarre attempt to raise morale) stated that people should not worry as we had now achieved 60% of the targetted job cuts (do the maths). As my department didn't feature on the newly issued organisation charts I decided it was probably time to start seeing what alternatives were available.

I found a position that seemed interesting, applied, interviewed, and accepted.

So it comes to pass that, after a greater number of years than I care to think about working in the Oil & Gas industry, I find myself relishing a new challenge in the world of academia. I will soon be starting a job within the IT Directorate of the local University, a venerable establishment that has been in existence for over 500 years. I am sure that there will be lots of challenges ahead but all contact to date has been extremely positive and I have a feeling that it is going to be a good place to work.

80's Error Message

Cough Cough

Two cough sweets walk into a pub, one asks for a gin and tonic and the other for a cider.

The barman refuses to serve the red cough sweet her gin and tonic, but the green and white cough sweet is served very quickly.

"I thought we didn't serve cough sweets any more," remarked a watching bar maid.

"We don't as a rule," replied the publican, "but she looked fucking menthol."

Salt And Sauce?

I first heard Veruca Salt on a listening post in Virgin Records in Aberdeen in 1994 and was so taken with them that I bought the album "American Thighs" immediately.

The album was full of tracks featuring grungy loud guitars topped by gorgeous female vocal harmonies a sound that I am a bit of a sucker for. The two main protaganists Louise Post and Nina Gordon shared songwriting and vocal duties and the band produced a sound described by allmusic as having "reshaped the jagged, abrasive punk-pop of the Pixies and Breeders into a more accessible, riff-driven power pop formula that also borrowed from pop/hard rockers like Cheap Trick".

The single from the album, the Gordon penned "Seether", became a word of mouth success and, following the album's re-release on Geffen, an MTV favourite.



Seether from American Thighs

The second album "Eight Arms To Hold You" had a more straightforward rock sound, in the main due to the Bob Rock production, and this brought the band some criticism.

I still liked it though and the lead single from it, Volcano Girls, was also successful and remains one of my personal faves to this day.

The band now had a more glammed up image and the video budgets had also obviously increased.



Volcano Girls - "the Seether's Louise"

In 1998 following a mysterious, acrimonious fall out reputedly concerning stolen boyfriends, stabbed backs, and general unpleasantness Gordon and Post went their separate ways - Gordon to a solo career and Post continuing with the band.

Subsequent offerings from both parties have been good but have struggled to live up to the quality of the previous band output. This is a real shame as the original Veruca Salt chemistry was obviously one of those things where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

The clip below is of an acoustic rendition of Good Disaster, something a bit different from the usual rockier output and a version which highlights the beauty of the vocal harmonies.



Good Disaster - poor video quality, gorgeous sound


Links : Veruca Salt official site , Nina Gordon official site , Veruca Salt on Wikipedia

Lyric Snippets 7

Lyric quiz time again folks...

The lyric snippets below are from the last five songs played on my iPod this morning. Can you identify the songs?

1. This is where we walked, This is where we swam, Take a picture here, Take a souvenir
2. I get ideas, I get a notion, I want a nice little boat, Made out of ocean
3. Thinking how it used to be, Does she still remember times like these? To think of us again? And I do
4. Dizzy in the head and I'm feeling blue, The things you've said, well, maybe they're true, I'm getting funny dreams again and again, I know what it means, but...
5. The very first time I saw your face, I thought of a song, And quickly changed the tune, The very first time I touched your skin, I thought of a story, And rushed to reach the end, Too soon

Answers in the comments please, and no Googling!

The full list of answers will be posted later.

The answers to Lyric Snippets 6 are now in the comments for that post.

Calculated Violence

From The Giant Napkin

Fourth grade math genius calculates a high probability of getting beat up

ROCK HILL, Mo.—Earlier this week a Jefferson grade school student used his advanced mathematics skills to calculate his likelihood of being pummeled at the hands of larger, more popular children. Alex Mosley employed complex reasoning and social ratios to determine that he will almost certainly suffer a beating before month’s end.

“First, I computed my annoyance ratio to determine the probability that each student would want to beat me up,” said Mosley. “Then I gauged that against the Beatings to Hand Raises Theory along with past historical data from my previous physical assaults.”

To put his findings in layman’s terms, Mosley’s pretentiousness and poor conversational skills make him decidedly annoying. Pair that with his propensity to raise his hand for most teacher-posed questions and his past run-ins with more aggressive and popular peers, and one would have to believe Mosley will get his beating sometime soon.

“It will probably be like twelve kids who go after him,” said Mosley’s teacher Margaret Schumacher. “I won’t do anything. Well, I’ll watch.”

Adding to the evidence pointing towards Mosley’s beating are the many threats the 10-year-old math wiz has received. In the past week alone, four boys have warned Mosley they would have to inflict pain upon him should he continue being so smart.

“The probability of me remaining this smart, let alone becoming slightly smarter, is very high,” said Mosley. “Given that, getting beat up within the month is an expected result. Furthermore, when taking into account my small stature proportional to the most likely inflictors of given beating, I’m estimating a 30 percent chance of a broken bone.”

Mosley’s parents are aware of their son’s chances and have computed the need for various first aid necessities, bearing in mind Alex’s asthma and sensitive skin.

Taking The Nick

I love nicknames and am indebted to my far eastern correspondant for this list of funnies.

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.

Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.

The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the side).

The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies: "I'll get back to you on that."

The Man from Del Monte - purportedly a ladies' man, but everyone suspects it's the fruits that make him say: "Yes!"

The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.

Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.

Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.

Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: "Let me put you in the picture..."

Bernard Caliper - a keen golfer with a leg iron.

Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.

Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.

Elmer - according to his mates, this guy is a real Fudd.

Harvey Smith - a skinflint who regularly enjoys a clear round at the bar.

The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.

The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the craw

Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.

Polyfilla - his real name is Phil McCracken.

The Mounty - whenever there's a carry-out on the go, he always gets his can

Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.

Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be scared of the alarm clock.

Wolfy - fond of a right good bevvy, he's always howling.

The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.

The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.

Charlton Heston - an incredibly slow fitter who turns every job into an epic.

The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies: "Sorry, my hands are tied.

The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really bad complexion.

The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.

Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals (aka the great dicktaker)

Apparently there is also a guy who works in my local bank who gets called "Tiger Feet", apparently when he talks to customers he keeps saying "that's right, that's right"

Do you have any good nicknames you could share with us?

YouTube Is Well Named

It would appear that the lure of internet fame via postings on video sharing sites such as YouTube is just too much for some people, providing as it does an easily recahed platform for the "Jackass generation".

The stupidity of some of these clowns is beyond belief...

(From The Beaver County Times & Allegenhy Times via FARK)

Five minutes of fame; months of pain

By: Bobbi Mercadante and Michael Pound, Times Staff

07/23/2007

MOON TWP. - The draw of fame - even of the slightly sketchy Internet variety - can be strong.


The promise of a payoff - in this case, hopes of a boatload of hits for a YouTube video - can lead rational people to make questionable decisions, such as, say, setting your backyard on fire.

That's what happened when two 18-year-old Moon Township residents soaked the backyard of one of them - along with his shoes and socks - with gasoline and set it aflame early Saturday.

Moon police said Kory Brinza of 108 Bertley Ridge Drive and Joshua Morrow of 264 Moon-Clinton Road hatched a plan around 4 a.m. Saturday to set the fire around Brinza, while Morrow filmed the event on Brinza's new cell phone. They then planned to upload the video to YouTube.com, an Internet site that hosts millions of homemade clips of every variety.

That's what was supposed to happen; what actually occurred, Brinza said, was this: Once Brinza soaked much of his yard with gasoline, Morrow lit a match and a fire that engulfed much of the yard - not to mention Brinza's lower legs - roared to life.

"I ripped off my shoes, because they were on fire, and I had to rip my socks off, too," Brinza said. "We were just trying to put out the fire."

Brinza said in his panic, he accidentally kicked over a nearly full can of mixed gasoline and oil, compounding the problem.

"I don't really remember everything - it was pretty traumatic," Brinza said. "I know I was yelling to my mom to tell the fire department that we got it out."

Brinza said he didn't realize how seriously he was burned; his mother, Peggylee Brinza, 56, summoned emergency workers anyway, and Kory Brinza was taken by ambulance to Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh for treatment of what turned out to be second-degree burns on his feet and ankles.

He was in the hospital for only a couple of hours, but Brinza said he has a long road ahead. The bandages covering the burns must be changed once daily, and the prescribed painkillers he received only dull the pain.

"I've never felt anything like this," he said. "It's excruciating."

Brinza attributed the fire to a desire to check out the capabilities of his new camera phone - and boredom. He said he doesn't really know why he thought setting the fire would be a good idea, although he said no drinking or drug use was involved.

"But I know it was the dumbest thing I've ever done," he said. "I should know better, but for whatever reason, I wanted to do it anyway."

Police, who went to investigate the incident, said the smell of gasoline lingered heavily in the air, and they asked the fire department to come to the location and hose down the yard as a precaution.

"You should not play around with gasoline or any flammable liquids on the body," Moon Fire Chief Charles Belgie Jr. said as a warning to other young moviemakers on Monday.

Brinza said that message is clear.

"If anything good comes of this, I hope it's that no one else tries to do something similar," he said. "It might take months for my legs to heal, and I'll think about this mistake every day."

©Beaver County Times Allegheny Times 2007

Rock On

Heard on the radio this morning that David Essex turned 60 today.

Whilst we should desperately try and ignore his later years of Andrew Lloyd Webber-isms and general "musical theatre" leanings, his early years were pretty entertaining even if I can only bring myself to admit it now - he was saddled with too much of a teenybopper image for us boys to take seriously...

He starred in two cult classic films That'll Be The Day and Stardust both concerned with the rise and ultimate fall of rock star Jim MacLaine and his debut single Rock On remains to this day on of the bravest attempts at chart success ever. Bass driven with an echoey, dub-like production, Rock On was an unlikely but worthy success.

I understand his long standing fans are mounting a campaign to get Rock On back into the charts to celebrate the occassion. It would certainly rank head and shoulders above anything in there at the moment.

Embedding is disabled on YouTube but here is a link.

Recommended Reading

My Father and other Working-Class Football Heroes

by Gary Imlach

ISBN-10: 0224072684

Synopsis (with thanks to Amazon)

Stewart Imlach was an ordinary neighbourhood soccer star of his time. A brilliant winger who thrilled the crowd on Saturdays, then worked alongside them in the off-season; who represented Scotland in the 1958 World Cup and never received a cap for his efforts; who was Man of the Match for Nottingham Forest in the 1959 FA Cup Final, and was rewarded with the standard offer - GBP20 a week, take it or leave it.

Gary Imlach grew up a privileged insider at Goodison Park when Stewart moved into coaching. He knew the highlights of his father's career by heart. But when his dad died he realised they were all he knew. He began to realise, too, that he'd lost the passion for football that his father had passed down to him.

In this book, he faces his growing alienation from the game he was born into, as he revisits key periods in his father's career to build up a picture of his football life - and through him a whole era. "My Father and Other Working-Class Heroes" brilliantly recaptures a lost world and the way it changed, blending the personal and the historical into a unique soccer story.

I recently finished reading this book and felt compelled to recommend it.

This book is about more than just football, it is also the story of a son's quest to get to know his father, through his playing history and the friendships he had forged within the game, after it was too late to do this directly.

Through the memories and the old match reports we build up a picture of a very different football environment from that of today, players on a maximum wage and being treated as disposable assets of the clubs - rather than the world of overpaid, overexposed, primadonnas that form a significant element of the sport nowadays.

The book also contains some amusing episodes including the revelation about Alan Ball's famous white boots contained in the following section:

For a nine-year-old newly arrived on Merseyside in 1969, though, there was more kudos in having a current member of the Everton coaching staff for a father than a cup-winner from before I was born. Formby is a small coastal town on the way north to Southport, still a popular spot for Everton and Liverpool players who don't fancy the posher parts of the Wirral. We'd been parachuted in that summer as marked men. Our footballing heritage was very much a sidebar to the big news that we were Goodison insiders; something our school friends could go home and ask their dads about, if they remembered.

Besides, our father's achievements were all safely in the record books. We took pride in them, but there was nothing we could do to influence the outcome of games already played and trophies long since held aloft on open-top buses. The '69-70 League Championship, though, was up for grabs, and we knew we had to do our bit. The same clothes every week, the scarf on the same way, the standing and shouting of exactly the same phrase of exhortation to the defence every time Everton conceded a corner: who knew what variables might affect the result one way or the other? Best to cover all the bases just to be on the safe side.

This was part of the responsibility that came with what, across the playground, must have looked like tremendous privilege. At school the only other football offspring our age were the children of the Liverpool centre-half Ron Yeats, and they were girls. So, alone among our peers, we had the secret knowledge. We knew what cars they drove, what their training numbers were, what they ate before matches. When Alan Ball signed a contract with a Danish company no one had heard of and became the first English player to wear white boots it was big news - all our mates were talking about it. But we knew something else: that Alan Ball didn't actually like his new boots and rarely wore them; that his highly visible Hummel were, in fact, usually a pair of Adidas 2000 with a fresh coat of Dulux. We'd seen them. Our dad had painted them. We had a pair of his stiff and creaky Hummel rejects hanging up in the garage for any friends who didn't believe us.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book from both the historical football aspect and also that of the son's quest to really know his father. The book is very engaging and you find yourself being drawn into both the son's quest and the father's football career that took him from playing on the town square in Lossiemouth to representing his country in the World Cup finals then back down through the lower leagues.

Treat yourself, read it and enjoy.

Many A True Word Spoken In Jest

Quality comment on this week's Scottish Football Briefing email from The Scotsman.

Third Division

All go down at the Rock with Ryan Russell arriving from Morton and Robert Campbell joining up from Kilmarnock. It's the best move you'll ever make lads. There's nothing quite like the sensation of 1000 Sons fans instantly turning against you when you make the slightest mistake.

If the writer hadn't already revealed himself to be a Dumbarton fan over the course of his weekly ramblings last season then this paragraph would have instantly revealed to all in the know that he was a true Son of the Rock.

Only a true Dumbarton fan can really appreciate these sentiments. I have been a member of a DFC mailing list for a number of years now and the activity levels on it are very telling. On the rare occasions where Dumbarton are having success on the park the mailing list becomes as quiet as a grave, when things are going wrong the list is a lively as a box of hyperactive midgets on speed. Its official - Dumbarton fans are nothing but a bunch of moaning gets who are never happier than when they are wallowing in the mire of misplaced enthusiasm, thwarted ambition and seemingly interminable underachievement.

I wouldn't change them for the world though...

Lyric Snippets 6

Lyric quiz time again folks...

The lyric snippets below are from the last five songs played on my iPod this morning. Can you identify the songs?

1. Hurry up, hurry up and wait, I stay away all week and still I wait, I got the blues, please come see, What your loving means to me.
2. Blind stars of fortune, each have several rays, On the wings of maybe, down in birds of prey, Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn't have to grow, But as the eagle leaves the nest, it's got so far to go.
3. Like a dream on the ocean, Always drifting away, And I can't catch up, She just slips away - on the tide.
4. So I'm stepping out of time, Because breaking is a crime, And it may all be too late, But I've no passion for this hate.
5. And you're a prima ballerina on a spring afternoon, Change on into the Wolfman howlin' at the moon.

Answers in the comments please, and no Googling!

The full list of answers will be posted later.

The answers to Lyric Snippets 5 are now in the comments for that post.

Daylight Robbery

Today I was a witness to a robbery and I have to admit it has shaken me to the core.

I went to get a paper this morning at the McColls newsagent at the Castlegate in Aberdeen.

As I went to enter the shop I had to stand back and make way for the thief who was making a hasty exit.

Yes, walking through the door at some speed was a seagull, with a packet of crisps clutched in its beak, being pursued by the shopkeeper.

Jokingly I said to the man, "There's a sight you don't see everyday!"

"Don't you believe it" he replied "that damn bird has had twelve packets of crisps off me so far this week!"

The shop has a full rack of crisp packets which is fairly low down at the front of the counter beside the shop door. This devious bird loiters outside the shop waiting for someone to enter without closing the door properly behind them. It then seizes its chance, walks into the store bold as brass, and helps itself to a packet of crisps. It then makes its escape and retires to the pedestrianised square outside, rips open the bag, and enjoys its potato based snack.

Aberdeen is plagued with seagulls all year round and they can be really messy, especially when they are nesting and rearing their young. When walking in Aberdeen city centre it is always best to keep one eye on the sky and one eye on the tell-tale signs on the pavement in order to try and avoid being splattered with fresh guano from one of these "shite hawks".

Anyone leaving a bin liner full of rubbish out on the street for collection is likely to find the contents strewn all over the pavement once these scavengers rip them apart to find out what treats lie within.

All this I don't like, but I can tolerate.

Robbing shops though is a different matter altogether. I mean, what on earth is coming next?

Are we going to see gangs of young daring seagulls hanging about outside supermarkets waiting to rob old age pensioners of their freshly purchased provisions?

This really is a step too far...

Update 20/7 : The story of Sam the shoplifting seagull was featured in the Daily Record of 20th July, the article includes a link to a video of the devious bird in action.

Link : Daily Record article

Update 2 20/7 : Here is a video clip of Sam in action

Spider Pig, Spider Pig

The wee fella and I were in stitches when we saw this...

Life's A Beach

Today was officially Scotland's summer.

Spent the morning playing the 6 hole golf course with the wee fella and his pal.

Followed this up with a walk to the Sands Of Forvie where the two of them tore up and down the sand dunes before stripping half naked and running in and out of the waves.

The beach at Forvie is beautiful, totally unspoilt and almost deserted - a real joy to spend time on.

Late evening was spent enjoying the last of the sunshine walking along the sea front at Aberdeen munching on an ice cream cone.

Fantastic. Life just seems so much better on days like these. If we could just guarantee this weather there would be no need to travel further afield.

In true Scottish fashion however it looks like I will be turning up for work tomorrow with burnt arms and a nose like a belisha beacon!!!

Snot Right!

This story from the BBC shows what a politically correct cul de sac we have got ourselves into in this country. Un-bloody-believable...

'Offensive' SN07 car plate banned

Car licence plates which bear the sequence SN07 were banned from the streets of Edinburgh because they are "offensive", it has emerged.

The plate had been due to follow on from the SN56 registration in March.

Licensing officials at the Driver and Vehicle License Agency (DVLA) changed the plate to TN07 to avoid it being similar to the word 'snot'.

The change means that cars registered in the capital are the only ones in Scotland not to begin with an S.

A DVLA spokesperson said the decision to change the plates was taken to avoid offending car buyers in the capital.

She added: "It is our policy that any registration mark that can be construed as being offensive to people will be suppressed.

"In this case, the SN07 marks would have been too similar to the word 'snot' and, as that could possibly offend some buyers, they were replaced with new TN07 registrations."

Lyric Snippets 5

It's that time of the week again folks...

The lyric snippets below are from the last five songs played on my iPod this morning. Can you identify the songs? Quite a tough one this week I think...

1. There's a spider crawling on the bathroom mirror, Right on top of my right eye, And I can't stop staring back, How did I get this way?, Take a big look at a living lie.
2. Now your lover went and put me in the ground, I'll be watching, when he's around. Now your lover went and put me in the ground, I'll be watching...when he's around.
3. Oh, ball of fire, In the summer sky, Your healing light, your parade of days. Are they betrayed, by the men of power, Who hold this world in their changing hands.
4. Well, I'm hanging round the depot, boys, Can't get a job, I'm so sick and tired of being laid off, No silver lining, no rainbow's end, Blues in my mailbox, that's all they ever send.
5. And he's searched underground and overground for a partner, Played his harmonica 'til his lips were raw, He's looked through tins and rubbish bins just for an answer, So far each year he's drawn the shortest straw.

Answers in the comments please, and no Googling!

The full list of answers will be posted later.

The answers to Lyric Snippets 4 are now in the comments for that post.

Totally Fuzzy

If, like me, you have a loft or garage full of boxes of LP's and tapes that you no longer have any method of playing,

and,

if, like me, you have enough CD's to make their storage and usage a bone of contention between yourself and the almighty power that runs the home,

and,

if, like me, you are tired of rebuying the same music in different formats time and time again,

then,

like me, you will find the MEGA SUPER MAMMOTH MP3 Blog List both interesting in a window shopping kind of way and also a shortcut to several magical places where you may find a downloadable copy of that old Deke Leonard album that you haven't been able to listen to in ages (still looking - though I did find I've Got My Own Album To Do by Ron Wood, possibly the finest album that the Stones never made).

This list gathers together links to over 1400 mp3 blogs which feature music masterpieces from across the entire spectrum of musical taste and Elton John.

Some are extremely specialised and some are more generalist. Be aware though that you may spend considerable portions of your life trawling through these sites...

Link : MEGA SUPER MAMMOTH MP3 Blog List

Fish Heads

I first saw this Barnes and Barnes video on the Old Grey Whistle Test many many years ago. Seeing it again was a real joy.

It is one of the most bizarre videos I have ever seen but the catchy refrain will sink into your subconcious mind and lodge itself there for years...

All together now...."fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads..."

(Rab, if Mr W is round your way play him this. He'll love it!)

Lyric Snippets 4

Time again for the lyric snippets quiz.

The lyric snippets below are from the last five songs played on my iPod this morning. Can you identify the songs?

1. Like a dream that has no dreamer, Like a cloud without a sky... Like a truth with no believer, Like a mother without a child...
2. I was driving across the burning desert, When I spotted six jet planes, Leaving six white vapor trails across the bleak terrain, It was the hexagram of the heavens, It was the strings of my guitar
3. Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown, Heaven knows, it's got to be this time, Watching her, these things she said, The times she cried, Too frail to wake this time.
4. I'm on an island in a busy intersection, I can't go forward now, I can't turn back, Can't see the future, It's getting away from me, I just watch the tail lights glowing
5. You need a push, I'll push you off, Open up the window and jump into the blue

Answers in the comments please, and no Googling!

The full list of answers will be posted later.

The answers to Lyric Snippets 3 are now in the comments for that post.

Security Alert

Liverpool airport was closed for four hours today after police found a suspicious car parked outside.

It was taxed, insured and still had its radio.

Loungeing About

Entry to the airport lounge is usually The Holy Grail for business travellers. This is why possession or a silver or gold airline card is so prized - you can gain access to these palaces even if your company has booked you on a cheapy flight.

Once inside the lounge you can rest your weary, suit clad ass, on a comfortable seat rather than the thinly disguised park benches that are the domain of the plebians outside the access controlled doors.   There is unlimited free bevvy (if you are not driving at the other end), soft drinks if you are, cakes, crisps, cheese *nd biscuits, and sandwiches, to scoff on. You can also win cheap brownie points by taking home some of the free magazines to "her indoors".

For half an hour or so these places are the business traveller's equivalent of Las Vegas.

However, when your flight is delayed the attraction soon wears off.

In reality there is only so much Diet Coke you can drink, so many emails you can answer on your Blackberry before your thumbs feel like they are going to drop off, and then you are left to soak up the ambience.

You are surrounded by lots of similarly fed up travellers who have a variety of strategies for dealing with the delays.

Some people spend the whole time making phone calls that seem to be designed to make the casual eavesdropper believe that they are in the presence of some business demi god.

I was once stuck at a table next to a group of reps who were engrossed in playing a game of "who would you rather shag, Tracey from Accounts or Fat Angie from packing?" Ad nauseum until some clown upped the ante and included the sole female in the gathering as one of the choices...  The conversation petered out after that.

Today I was sitting opposite a hefty lady who had removed her shoes and seemed to be paying far too much close attention to her feet than was necessary in a public place. Then to top it all she fished a small plastic bag, containing ice cubes, from down the back of her trousers and poured the melt water into an empty drinks glass before returning the bag to her trousers. Bizarro.

One good distraction was a 4th of July from Davie Nix, keyboard player with the fab band Driveblind. Dave wants everyone to vote for his pal who is a Star Wars nut who wants to play at a convention. Go to the following link and vote for Darth Elvis. http://www.celebrationeurope.com/cantina/poll/index.htm I'm sure Wixy would appreciate your voting for his pal.

Some other good news was that one of the boys from the kids football team that I coach has been selected for Aberdeen FC's development squad.  Well done to him!

Still no sign of the flight boarding but thumbs now almost terminal so going to sign off.

Happy landings.

Phone In Fun

Terror Threat - Critical

Can't ignore the happenings at Glasgow Airport over the weekend. I am sure that most of the Scottish population shared the same feelings of shock and horror that I felt watching the images of the burning jeep in the airport entrance way.

Today's revelations that one of the men in the car was working as a doctor at a Paisley hospital is even more confusing/disappointing. I would have hoped that anyone clever enough to become a medic would have had enough intelligence not to get suckered in by all of this religious extremism crap.

This attack, coupled with the failed car bombs in London, are really making me look forward to my business trip to the capital on Wednesday (the 4th of July no less)! I have got enough to worry about getting up at 4am not to return home until after 10pm, without having to worry about some misguided fool jumping on my tube train with a rucksack full of tin tacks and semtex.

The thing is that you can't let these sick bastards win. We have to carry on as normally as possible. I'll be making the trip, but I will be bricking it!

Just Like Paradise

Here's Diamond Dave giving Axl a run for his money in the OTT video stakes (see previous post).

You just can't beat a video with someone swinging about at the end of a rope half way up a giant rock face, huge drum kit, a three necked heart shaped guitar, and an ego the size of a small South American country.

I saw this version of the DLR band live in Edinburgh when they toured the Skyscraper album.

Great guitar playing (Steve Vai is sooo much better when he has to operate within the confines of a band), great front man, great show.